Star Wars: A New Copy

In a galaxy far, far away, the Xerux Empire, led by the sinister Emperor Pulpysheen, has developed a new weapon of mass duplication, the Death Duplexer, capable of creating an infinite number of copies of any document in the universe.

Our hero, Luke Typerider, a young farm boy on the desert planet of Tatooink, stumbles upon a pair of droids carrying the blueprints of the Death Duplexer. The plans reveal a waste filter vulnerability, accessible through a small thermal exhaust port that could destroy the entire station.

Guided by the wise old Obi-Wanna Driver, Luke joins forces with a motley crew of rebels including the savvy Princess Layout, the roguish Han Feeder, and his loyal Wookiee co-pilot, Chewbackup. Together, they navigate through a fleet of CUPS spoolers, each outputting reams of color vellum and indifferent to imprint counts or recycling.

In the climactic battle, Luke pilots his Fax-Wing fighter down the narrow corridor of the fuser unit. Evading a barrage of staple projectiles and swirling hole-punch scattershot, he hears Obi-Wanna’s voice, “Use the Collator, Luke.” Trusting in the power of the protocol, Luke fires two JetDirect torpedoes into the exhaust port, triggering a chain reaction of tray paper jams that destroys the Death Duplexer in a colorful burst of confetti and ABS plastic.

Our story ends with a grand ceremony on the rebel LAN. Princess Layout presents our heroes with the Medal of Toner, honoring their bravery in the face of the Xerux Empire’s mass duplication. As they stand proudly, the galaxy is filled with hope, knowing that no matter how many copies the Empire makes, the originals are always the best.

And so, the saga continues in “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Backspace”…


AI image by Copilot

Previous Post